Singing to a Different Beat
by Niamh-Rain
Summary: He's leaving, and for some reason that really hurt. Finn knew he wasn't the smartest person in the world, but Kurt had always been there for him, and now that he's leaving, Finn feels as if his whole world was dying. Finn/Kurt. AU Furt on.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Nope. It is not mine. If it were Kurt would be the star of the show, and everyone else would fall to his feet and swear their loyalty.

Title: Singing To A Different Beat

Rating: T

Pairing: Finn/Kurt

Summary: He's leaving, and for some reason that really hurt. Finn knew he wasn't the smartest person in the world. He barely scraped by in school, and so he didn't know why Kurt leaving for Dalton was so bad, nor did he understand his irrational feelings toward Blaine Anderson.

Warnings: Slash: Male/Male Relationships, Altered Glee-verse, Sexual Content, Drama, Adult Language, and other stuff I can't think of. Episodes: Furt+

Notes: All mistakes are my own. I try, but I'm not perfect. Thanks Bittersweet for your help.

_**1.**_

"_**A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."**_

― _**Madonna **_

It was like a very large fist ramming into Finn Hudson's stomach. All of the air inside of him disappeared, and his heart was replaced with pain.

Kurt stood there looking perfect as he ever was, not a strand of hair out of place, and he told them point blank that he was going to Dalton because Karofsky was coming back.

For some reason, it felt like the end of the world. Finn thought that things were starting to get better only for it to all come crashing down. His mom had finally tied the knot with Burt, and they had a brand new large house with their own rooms.

Kurt left after that, and everyone in New Directions were stunned especially Mr. Schuester.

"Had it been that bad?"

"How did we not notice?"

Those were some of the questions flying through the room, but Finn couldn't pinpoint who was saying what.

"Finn!" Rachel's voice cut through his thoughts, and he frowned as he stared down at the girl that he thought he loved. "Did you know about this?" she asked sharply.

"How could I?' Finn asked.

"He's totally going to ruin New Directions! Going off to the enemy!" she shrieked. "You have to talk sense into him!"

Finn stared at her as if she was Medusa with snakes for hair. He always knew that Rachel was a little conceited, but he thought she had her moments of goodness.

Finn gave her a look of disgust as Mercedes and Santana laid into Rachel. He stood, and before she could grab his arm, he jerked away from her. "Don't talk to me right now, Rachel. I don't have capacity to listen to your self-serving whining."

"Woohoo! Go white boy!" Mercedes cheered.

"Finn, calm down!" Mr. Schuester feared for their group now. "It's not Rachel's fault."

"No, it's ours," Finn said factually. "We're a group, we're his friends, I'm his family, and we didn't notice. I'm going home."

"But, Finn! We still have practice!" Rachel whined.

"Shut up, will you?" Finn snarled causing Rachel to rear back as though she'd been slapped. "I don't give a shit about the glee club right now. Get your head out of your ass for once!"

Rachel was left in tears, and no one felt bad for her.

(o)

Kurt was thumbing through a Vogue magazine, and every now and then he would text Blaine about what to expect at Dalton Academy. He was a little sad to be leaving New Directions, but his safety was more important. He was excited to be going to school with Blaine, and he hoped that he could join the Warblers.

It was early afternoon, and Burt had let him leave school early, and he was making the most of the afternoon.

He heard loud thumping on the staircase, and knew before the scent of Axe Cologne that Finn had come home early as well. He knew his step-brother would be confused, and probably upset.

Kurt twitched, but didn't look up when he heard the squeak of his door being opened. Kurt had taken to decorating his new bedroom the last two days. He had the master bedroom because it had a bathroom connected, and Burt and Carole thought it would be easier on him if he was able to have a bathroom to his self like he'd had at his old house.

He missed the old house, all the memories of his mother were there, but he knew he had to move on. Finn deserved his own room, and Kurt had to admit, he hated to share.

He felt a shadow consume him, and continued to read an article on the newest fashion on the runway. Kurt's large bed sunk down, and finally he glanced up at Finn from underneath his lashes.

Finn swallowed when Kurt gazed up at him with such an intense stare. He had always known that Kurt was an intense person.

"Why?"

"You know why, Finn," Kurt placed a bookmark in the magazine, and closed it. He laid it aside, and snagged one of his fluffy pillows and leaned heavily into it.

"We could have protected you!" Finn insisted. "I could have."

Kurt shook his head. "It's not your job to protect me, Finn nor is it anyone else's. It's something I have to do. Dalton Academy has a no tolerance for bullying."

"But, it's so far away! I can protect you, Kurt. I meant what I said. I don't give a damn about my reputation anymore!"

Kurt flicked a piece of hair out of his eyes, and propped his head up with his hand. "Sorry, Finn. It's a done deal, Coach Sylvester already sent my transcripts. She was the only one who really cared, Finn. She expelled him without a second thought. Of course the school board decides who gives a damn about the resident fag."

Finn flinched as if he'd been struck with a weight. "Don't say that," he shuddered violently.

Kurt arched a perfectly crafted eyebrow at that. "It's the way they see me."

Finn's hands clenched into his palms, and he'd had nails he would have broken his skin. He bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Everything," Finn murmured. "For not being there, for bullying you before any of this, and - and I'm sorry for that night in the basement. God, I'm such a stupid idiot. I always ruin things, and I can never get my head out of my ass."

Kurt was shocked. He didn't know what to say to Finn, and he opened his mouth to try and placate him when his phone buzzed. He glanced over to see Blaine's name on the face.

"Who's that?" Finn asked curiously.

Kurt took the phone, and smiled a little. "One of the Dalton boys. His name's Blaine."

Finn twitched. "Oh."

Kurt didn't reply right away, and instead he put it aside. "Finn, what happened in the basement wasn't completely your fault."

"Yes, it was!" Finn argued. "No matter the situation, I never should have said that."

"It's how you felt."

"No! I - I didn't."

"I pressured you. I didn't realize that crushing on straight guys was a very bad idea. I'm the only gay kid that's open around here. I don't have anyone to talk too, or anyone to tell me what's a good idea, and what's not. I had to learn the hard way."

"I didn't help any. I hurt everyone when I did that."

"So did I." Kurt brought his nails up to inspect them so that he had something to distract himself with. "It's not your fault, and you never actively did anything to me, Finn. Hell, you refused to slushy me."

"I couldn't do that. I felt awful when you did that to yourself."

"Sacrifices have to be made to coexist in a plebeian world."

Finn wrinkled his nose as he tried to figure out what 'plebeian' meant. He figured it meant something bad, and shrugged to himself.

"When do you start, Dalton?" Finn asked as the phone buzzed again. He shot the cell a dirty look. How dare it interrupt him talking to Kurt.

Kurt continued to leave it as he reached over, and took a metal nail file from his desk. "Tomorrow dad and I are going to meet with the Headmaster to decide whether I'll be staying on campus or commuting back and forth. It's a two hour drive so we'll see what happens tomorrow."

Finn's mouth went dry. "Commuting?"

Kurt smiled light-heartedly. "Yes, Finn commuting. It means driving back and forth, and not living on campus."

"Oh," Finn blushed suddenly. He was used to being dumb, hell it was his life, but Kurt made him feel embarrassed at his stupidity for the first time in his life. "Wait!" His eyes widened as he looked at Kurt. "You mean, you'll live on campus?"

Kurt nodded. "That's right. I might do that. It'll be cheaper on gas. Gaga knows that dad's spending enough money."

"I'll never see you!" Finn was horrified. How could he protect Kurt if he was never around? The thought of never being able to see Kurt was like being slugged in the stomach once more. He did not like the feeling of that at all. His chest hurt really bad now.

Kurt paused at that. Why would Finn care? "I'll be around most weekends. It's not like I'm going to be gone forever."

"Yeah, I guess."

Finn couldn't explain why it hurt so damn much to know that Kurt was leaving. He supposed he'd gotten used to male diva's presence, and he cared so much for Kurt. He did not want Kurt leaving, but what could he say? Everything had been done, and it wasn't like Finn was anyone important. He was just connected through marriage, and nothing more.

"Good night, Kurt."

"Night Finn," Kurt waved without looking at him as he scooped up his cell phone, and Finn's eyes narrowed unconsciously when he saw the name 'Blaine' blazed across the face of the phone.

(o)

The transition from McKinley to Dalton was so much less painless with Coach Sylvester's recommendation, and it helped that Kurt's grades spoke volumes. He was ranked third in the entire school, and he was only a Junior. Mike Chang and some no name were the only ones before Kurt.

Kurt's dorm was nice and cozy. The hall that he had been placed on was for the emergency transfers, and the Headmaster had admitted that most of the ones with the single rooms had been bullied at one time or another, and it was to give them a chance to settle in before moving in with a roommate. It made perfect sense to Kurt. It was Saturday so most of the students had gone home for the weekend.

Finn had dropped all his plans with Rachel to help Kurt with the move since Burt had to work in the shop, and besides, Kurt would not let him move the big stuff. Kurt was driving and Finn was in the passenger seat. Kurt's IPod was playing through the speakers of his Navigator as they took the long two hour drive to Westerville. Kurt noticed how silent Finn was, which was odd because usually Finn a chatterbox, and he often talked about things that Kurt didn't really care about.

"Will you be home next weekend?" Finn finally asked after forty minutes of show tunes and Lady Gaga playing in the background.

"I might. It all depends on the homework, and how exhausted I am."

The country side after leaving Lima was nice since there were no red lights or stop signs to get in their way. Kurt allowed the speed to go over the legal limit since there was hardly anyone on the road, and the chance of a cop was slim to none. It was all parched fields of corn, and every now and then the smell of pig and cow farms would cause Kurt to wrinkle his nose. He could not wait to get out of cow town. He absolutely despised Ohio, and all of its backwater ways.

"Everyone's going to miss you."

"I know," Kurt said feeling a pang in his chest. "I'm going to miss them too, but I can't stay with Karofsky. You can't protect me from that. No one but myself can."

Finn frowned. "What do you mean?" He may not be the smartest, but he could hear the tone in Kurt's voice, and it sounded like - like - Finn didn't know what the word was, but it was something, and he knew that it wasn't good.

He watched as Kurt's nose wrinkled cutely. He was about to inquire further when he stopped himself. Why did he think Kurt's nose was cute? Finn glanced over at Kurt who wasn't looking at him, and his eyes fell on the boy's nose, and indeed it was - cute. _Yikes_, that was very weird.

"Karofsky... Finn..." Kurt looked at the lanky teen with uncertainty. "If I tell you something, will you swear on your life that you won't tell anyone?"

Finn blinked, and shook himself out of his confusing thoughts. "Of course, Kurt!"

"Seriously, Finn, I will never talk to you again if you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

An ache in Finn's chest at the idea of Kurt never talking to him again hit hard, and the look on soprano's face spoke volumes. He was being serious, dead serious. "I swear."

"Karofsky kissed me in the lockers," Kurt refused to look over at Finn as he said it.

Finn's brain slowed way down, and that was bad because he knew it was slow to begin with. He frowned as he took in the words. "W- what? Karofsky-?"

"Kissed me."

"…." Finn was speechless. His brain buzzed, but he couldn't think right. Although, he could feel the bubbly fury rising inside of him, and he had no idea when it was the last time he felt so angry. Not even when Quinn had lied about her pregnancy, not even when he found out Puck his best friend had slept with his once girlfriend. Not even when Rachel had been infatuated with Jesse St. James. "FUCK!" he snarled, and before his fist could come down onto Kurt's dashboard, the willowy teen's hand shot out like lightning, and snatched his potentially painful fist out of thin air.

Immediately, and without prompt, Finn calmed at the soft tingling touch of Kurt's hand.

"Don't hurt my baby, please," Kurt whispered calmly.

Finn's heart raced like a jack rabbit. How could Kurt take this so calmly? How was it possible? "Kurt..."

"Don't tell anyone, especially my dad. His heart is bad enough." he squeezed Finn's hand gently, and Finn's eyes softened, but it didn't stop him from being anymore upset.

"My God, Kurt! You were sexually harassed, fuck!" He opened his hand that was inside of Kurt's, and he took the boy's long slim fingers, and wrapped them around his thicker ones. "I'm so sorry." He looked out the window as he fought the tears in his eyes. He had only ever cried twice since he'd turned thirteen. The first time was when Quinn had told him she was pregnant, and that she was the father. The second time was when he found out that he wasn't the father. But, this time, he was feeling weak. "I - I don't even know what to say to that."

"Say nothing," Kurt quipped. "It's best for everyone."

"This is serious, Kurt! Is that all that he's done?" When Kurt didn't answer, Finn squeezed his hand firmly. "Kurt... what else has he done to you?"

"He - he might have pushed me into the locker, and stole the wedding cake topper I had. But that's really it. That's why he threatened to kill me because he thought I would out him to the school."

Finn swore again. "That ass, he should not get away with that."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, Kurt it does matter!"

"No, Finn it doesn't," he refuted. "What happened is over, and I'm off to another school. Everything is much simpler now."

"How can you talk about it so calmly?"

"It happened a few weeks ago. It bothered me, but if I lived my life always angry with people for what they do then I'd probably have a heart attack. I ignore it, and then it goes away."

"Oh, Kurt. I'm sorry," he repeated.

Kurt rolled his eyes, and nervously disentangled his hand from Finn's. He ignored the odd empty feeling that came with it. "You have nothing to be sorry about. If I don't want someone to know something then they're not going to know it."

Finn's shoulders hunched forward, and he placed his hands in his lap as he unconsciously rubbed them together. Kurt was really warm, and his hand fit nice. He didn't know why, but he knew they were nice. He'd known ever since he took the boy's hand at the wedding.

Rachel's hands were too small and stubby like, and he had to admit that Santana was right when she called her man hands no matter how mean it was. Kurt's hands felt delicate. They were like those piano fingers, and he wondered if Kurt could play the piano. There was a piano at the house, but no one ever talked about it, and Finn had never thought to ask until now.

They sat in silence, and Finn was able to get a hold of his emotions before they spilled out in embarrassment.

Kurt turned the radio up to try and drown out the awkward feeling between them just as Angel and Collins' _I'll Cover You_.

"I know this song!" Finn chirped feeling a little cheerful again.

Kurt blinked, and placed it on pause. "How? I know you've never seen the movie."

Finn blushed. "I have, I watched it with Rachel's dads a few weeks ago. The music is pretty good, and it's a sad movie. Turn it back on!"

Kurt was astonished, and he smiled, and turned it on, and as soon as Angel's beautiful voice filled the car, Kurt began to sing. "_Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. Be my lover, and I'll cover you._"

One thing Kurt did not expect was Finn to pick up Tom Collins' lyrics, and he nearly swerved when he heard the Quarterback's smooth voice take over. _"Open your door, I'll be your tenant. Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet. But sweet kisses I've got to spare, I'll be there and I'll cover you!_"

Kurt joined in on the chorus with an airy smile on his face. _"I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love, on life, be my life!"_ The music traveled over both of them, and Kurt couldn't stop the wild smile on his face. _"Just slip me on, I'll be your blanket wherever, whatever, I'll be your coat!"_

Grinning, Kurt glanced at Finn with a shake of his head as he picked up Angel's lines once more._ "You'll be my King, and I'll be your castle." _

"_No, you'll be my Queen, and I'll be your moat." _

Together they sang in perfect harmony._ "I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love, on life. All my life. I've longed to discover something as true as this." _

Then together they mashed their voices in perfect coordination with one another, and the song on the IPod, Finn leading. _"So with a thousand sweet kisses. I'll cover, with a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you. When you're worn out and tired. When your heart has expired." "If you're cold and you're lonely. You've got one nickel only, with a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you! With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you." _

"_Oh, lover, I'll cover you, yeah, oh lover, I'll cover you…." _Kurt delicately laughed as he placed a hand to his chest, and glanced at Finn who was blushing furiously.

"I had no idea, Finn. You shocked me." He turned back to the road before he could slip over the yellow line. He had never imagined that Finn would ever watch RENT or even know what it was.

Finn shrugged. "It was a good movie. Although, I have to admit we sang it better together than me and Rachel. We tried it, and her voice stripped the song."

Kurt was surprised that Finn had that understanding. "There's something about Rachel's voice. She's excellent so don't get me wrong, but the fact is she sings one way, and she always sings in hopes of out classing someone else. She doesn't try to sing for fun or enjoyment, and she uses one pitch because she has been told that it's her best pitch. She would be so much better if used variety."

"I think I get that," Finn said nodding.

Kurt smiled endearingly. "What I'm saying is sometimes her voice doesn't mesh well with others. Usually, she would sound great with Contralto or Counterner, but she lets her voice get ahead, and it shouldn't be like that."

"Uhm…" Finn wished at that moment he was smart enough to know Kurt meant.

Chuckling softly, Kurt rephrased in Finn-terms. "Alto."

"Oh! I know now!" Finn bobbed his head like a bobble dog, and Kurt's laughter got louder. Finn's cheeks burned. "Sorry, we both know I'm stupid." He picked at the hem of his gray t-shirt, and yelped when Kurt's hand came out of nowhere and slapped him on the back of his head. "_Ow_! What was that for?" he whined.

"For being an idiot. You're not stupid, Finn."

Finn snorted, and slouched. "Yeah right. I barely get C's."

"You just don't try," Kurt admonished.

That was true. "I always get distracted."

"Well, don't get distracted, and you can easily get an A, Finn."

"I don't know big words or what half of them mean."

"You don't have too."

"You have a way with words that I could never have. You can insult someone with one word. I have to stumble with the little words to get some meaning out of them."

"Does my dad use big words?"

"Well, no, but he's Burt. He's still smart."

"Exactly!" Kurt gestured with a smug smile.

Finn paused, and repeated what he said in his head. "_Oh_."

"You have strengths and weakness like I do."

"I've never seen your weakness."

"I don't let anyone see them," Kurt admitted. "I can't show weakness."

"Why?" Kurt gave Finn a swift look, his eyebrow arching in answer. "Oh," Finn bowed his head. "If you showed your weaknesses then school would be worse."

Kurt would have clapped if he hadn't been driving. "And you think you're stupid?"

Finn bit his lip. "I feel better, but worse at the same time." He scratched the top of his head wondering how he could feel two very different feelings at the same time.

"Don't worry about it. It's made me a stronger person."

Finn quietly agreed. A much stronger person than he, Finn Hudson could ever be.


	2. Chapter 2

_**2.**_

"_**Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away."**_

― _**Madonna **_

Dalton Academy was challenging. It was Kurt's only opinion on the matter. He hardly had time to admire the elegance of the halls, classrooms, and library. He had joined the Warblers without any resistance, and although he loved the practices, and the songs, he was not all that pleased with the fact that he could be sitting in the library working on his Calculus which was due the next day, and suddenly Blaine comes in all suave and sexy, throwing things into the air, and jumping into song.

Apparently, the school didn't care because the Warblers were the highlight of the school. It was so much different than McKinley High School where New Directions would be mocked every which way he turned. There were good parts about Dalton, and then there was the claustrophobia he felt because he couldn't wear any of his own things.

He wasn't even allowed to accessorize, and that wasn't even the worst bit. Kurt couldn't help it. He was a little homesick, and he missed his friends, and Finn.

It was another busy day, and Kurt had found a quiet little nook in one of the many unused rooms in Dalton Academy, and sat in the corner with all his books. Finally, he could concentrate on getting good grades. At McKinley, Kurt didn't even need to study for tests and classes. He could write an essay with his eyes closed, but here at Dalton it was a lot more academic, and required a lot of thought.

He had been given a list of twenty-five really irritating vocabulary words, and he had to form a story with fifteen of them. It wasn't due until Monday, but he wanted to get a jump on it because he had plans on going home on Friday night. It was one of the few times that he quietly thanked Coach Sylvester for ramrodding French into his head for the Cheerleading Regional's.

He was halfway down the paper, and feeling pretty good about getting it finished ahead of time when the soft footsteps in the room got closer, and before Kurt could look up, there was a swoosh as the chair scooted back.

"There you are," Blaine sounded exasperated. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Why are you in here?" He looked around with a perfect confused look on his handsome face.

Kurt didn't have to look at him to know that the look was handsome no matter how confusing. He always had the perfect actions. He was - perfect.

He punctuated a sentence, and then he looked over at his friend. "I needed some place quiet to finish my French essay."

"You have the weekend to do it don't you?"

"I want to get it out of the way now. What did you need?"

Blaine scoffed. "Can't I hang out with my best friend?"

Kurt was flattered that Blaine had upped him from friend to best in such a short amount of time, and smiled. "Of course, Blaine, I'm sorry. It's just the work here is so much harder, and I don't want to fall behind."

Blaine smirked, and closed Kurt's notebook. "I'll help you with it tomorrow evening after Warbler practice. Right now, I want you to help me with a song."

So, like a good best friend, Kurt agreed, and he had a lot of fun. Blaine was an amazing singer, and their voices complimented each other spectacularly.

"That was awesome, if only we could do that at Sectionals, we'd kill them!"

Kurt chuckled as his phone began to buzz. "Your set list is good enough."

"You were at Sectionals last year weren't you? You were also at Regional's." Blaine's eyes lingered on the phone in Kurt's hand. He was typing without looking at it. "Talented, who you talking too? I saw you sneaking messages in class."

"Oh, one of my friends from New Directions," he answered. "I miss them a lot, and I don't want to think of Sectionals last year. That was terrible."

"Why? What happened?"

"Our set list was stolen."

Blaine was shocked. "You still won?"

"We winged it at the last second with an unrehearsed song." He tried not to laugh at Finn's goofy message telling him the odd combination of French fries and chocolate ice cream. He mentioned that he'd seen it on TV, and thought to try it out. He knew that Finn was trying to cheer him up, and it worked a little.

"Wow, New Directions must be really good."

Kurt nodded. "W- _they_ are." He tried not to feel sad about saying They instead of We. He really did miss them. "A ton of drama, but in the end everyone's really talented. I just wish Mr. Schuester would showcase everyone's talent, and not just Rachel Berry's." He rolled his eyes at this.

"They have to choose the best though, don't they?"

Kurt scoffed elegantly. "The best? She's not the best. Rachel is Mr. Schuester's favorite so it always works out that way. Everyone is talented, and Mr. Schuester forgets sometimes that there is no I in TEAM. You guys will win if Rachel Berry sings, and that's all I have to say about that."

Blaine chuckled. "You're so cute."

Kurt felt his cheeks heating up, and he looked away, and down at his phone. No one had ever called him cute before. Damn, Blaine. He was too perfect acting.

oOo

When the weekend came for Kurt, he could feel the bubbling excitement running through his veins, and he could not wait until the end of the day so that he could rush home. As soon as Biology let out, Kurt was up, and out the door.

He was heading to his dorm when he received a text message from Finn. "_C U SOON?_"

Kurt rolled his eyes at the text speak. He quickly typed back. "_Please use proper English with me. Text speak gives me a headache, and yes!_"

He was nearly at his dorm when Blaine shouted for him. He ran across the parking lot with a smile on his face. "Kurt! So glad I caught you."

"What is it Blaine? I'm in a hurry. I need to get home."

Blaine was still grinning. "Sorry, the Warblers have Sectionals practice tonight, and tomorrow."

Kurt's face fell, and a weight dropped into his stomach. "What? It can't wait till Sunday?" As he asked, he felt tears sting his eyes, and his body became a squishy mess on the inside. He was about to cry or be sick one.

The perfect Warbler shook his head. "No, most of the Warblers go to church Sunday."

Hearing that, Kurt couldn't help but sneer gracefully. "So, I have to sacrifice my happiness for a bunch of-" he stopped when he saw Blaine's wide eyes. "_Never mind_. Hold on, let me send a message, everyone's expecting me. I also need to drop my things off."

Blaine nodded. "I'll keep you company, and I'm sorry. I don't like it either, but we have to try and respect their beliefs or at least pretend."

Kurt's fingers raced over the pad. '_I'm sorry Finn, tell them I'm not coming home. The Warblers are forcing me to stay for practice. :('_

He dropped his things off, and quickly fed the yellow Warbler in its cage. "See you later, Pav," he said stroking the feathery bird that chirped at him.

Kurt received Finn's message as soon as they got into the meeting. _'That sux! R u ok?'_

'_I'm sad_.' He put the phone away, and waited for the practice to start, and he was happy for once that he didn't have a solo because he did not have the ability to sing from the heart.

It was two grueling hours later when the Warbler council ended the practice, and demanded everyone to be there by ten o'clock the next morning for more.

"Come on, let's head to the cafeteria," Blaine insisted as Wes, David, Nick, and Jeff joined them.

Kurt said nothing as he followed them, his phone out once again. He saw four messages from Finn, each one fifteen minutes after the other. They were all in an attempt to cheer him up. It didn't work for once.

He snagged a salad, and some low fat Ranch dressing with a bottle of spring water. All the other boys had loads and loads of food, and were talking excitedly about practice tomorrow. Kurt couldn't get into it, and all he could think about was his home in Lima. He kept picking away at the salad, eating the cucumbers and tomatoes, but leaving most of the lettuce.

"Come on, cheer up!" Blaine bumped his shoulder. "At least I'm here." He flashed a white toothy smile, and Kurt tried to match it, but failed miserably.

"I know." It was strange, usually, Kurt didn't mind being away from Lima. In fact, he loved the idea of being out of Lima, but he was missing Finn.

... Kurt dropped his fork, and since it was silvery metal, and not plastic it clanged loudly. He knew his face had horror on it. He wasn't missing his father or Mercedes. He wasn't missing anyone except.

Kurt closed his eyes tight, ignoring the continuous, _'Kurt, you alright?'_

"No, no!" He leaned back in his seat, and shook his head. "I can't be, not after-" Kurt Lee Hummel was not an idiot, and he was not in denial. "_Oh my God..._"

"Kurt!" Blaine shook his shoulder roughly. "Kurt! Please, answer me. Are you okay? You look a little sick."

Swallowing thickly, Kurt's heart felt as if it were breaking in a million pieces. He turned, and looked at perfect Blaine, and he saw - he saw _nothing _but perfection. His perfect gelled hair, his perfect white teeth, his perfect voice, and mannerisms. He closed his eyes tight, and shook his head. "I hate epiphanies!"

"Huh?" Everyone was confused, but Kurt could not say anything, no way.

He breathed in deeply, and held it for a good ten seconds before he slowly let it out. "I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow at ten." He left his food where it was, and rushed out of the room so fast that no one had time to follow.

It felt like Kurt had drank an entire bottle of acid because his stomach was swimming, jerking, rolling, and flipping dangerously. He made it to the nearest boy's bathroom, and shoved it open causing it to hit the wall loudly, and soon wound up face first in the toilet. _"No, no, no!_" Kurt cried as he gagged at the disgusting taste in his mouth.

He heaved deeply, and flushed the toilet as he sagged down on the fancy tiled floors of the bathroom. He pressed his head to the stall, and for once he didn't care about his clothes or his hair.

His feelings snapped around him icy and scorching all at the same time. He'd thought he had gotten over it. He thought that they were gone, but here they were coiling up, and then - they struck.

"For the love of Madonna!" Kurt cried as he bowed his head. He quickly removed himself from the nasty floor, and made his way to the sink where he scrubbed his mouth out with an always on hand bottle of mouthwash, toothpaste, and toothbrush. He never left home without it.

The tears flooded down his cheeks as he began to shudder, and hiccup with the pain of his realization. He ignored the continued buzzing in his pants from the cell phone, as he practically swallowed the mouthwash to get rid of the sickly taste in his mouth.

It did no good because he wound up running back to the toilet, falling to his knees, and becoming sick again.

What the hell was he going to do?

(o)

Kurt lay in his single room at Dalton staring at the ceiling. He could not let his emotions get the better of him. He was stronger than that, and there was no way he was going to screw things up. His father was finally happy, and he would not destroy that for anything.

There was a tap on the door, and Kurt sighed heavily. He knew it was Blaine. He glanced at the clock, and frowned at the midnight hour as he crawled out of the bed. He prepared the _'I'm okay, the food was terrible'_ speech when he opened, and his heart stopped.

Literally.

"Hey," Finn's smooth voice, and goofy smile was standing in his doorway.

_Oh my God,_ Kurt thought in mild horror. He could not do this right now.

Finn's smile turned into a frown when he saw the red rings around Kurt's eyes, and the fact that he looked very pale. Not at all like the pretty sheen that Finn had gotten used to. "Are you alright? Did someone hurt you? Do I have to kill them?" he asked taking his hands out of his pockets, and gripping Kurt's shoulders.

Kurt couldn't speak. He merely stepped back, and allowed his first crush to walk into his life once again.

"I drove out here as soon as I didn't get a reply from you. I got worried, and I don't like the idea of you being sad."

Kurt's heart exploded with pain, and it was red-hot. He gave a strangled noise, and turned back to his bed. He crawled under to hide his face, and curled up on his side like a child.

"Kurt! Please, say something you're worrying me!" Finn rushed to Kurt's side sinking beside him on the bed.

His heart constricting, and the heat rising every second. "I'm sorry," he mumbled ungracefully.

Finn was frightened. Kurt had never acted like this before, and he had no idea what to do. It felt like his heart was shattering. "Are you sick? Do I need to call the hospital? Pull the covers back!" Finn did it for him, and Kurt flinched when slightly calloused, but strong hands touched his cheeks. "Jesus, Kurt! You're on fire!" He shoved all the covers down.

"Bad food," Kurt lied weakly. "You shouldn't have drove in the dark." He also wanted to tell Finn, '_You should not have come here because now my heart is breaking._'

"I was fine, the roads were empty. You are more important."

Kurt's mouth felt like sandpaper. Finn's hands were still running across his cheeks in an attempt to cool him down, but that only made it worse. Finn was touching him, and it made his pulse raise a little faster, and his blood to rush hotter.

"Get me an ice water?" He tiredly pointed at the mini-fridge his dad had bought him before he left.

"Of course."

The heat slowly receded from Kurt when Finn left his bedside, but he quickly returned causing it to all come back. He sat up, and took the already opened bottle.

"I thought - I thought you had a date tonight with Rachel?" Kurt still felt the rush, but he had to cool off, and get back to his old self. He could do it. It might take a little, but he had been able to live with his former crush until it wore off, and he would continue to do that. There was no way he was going to ruin anything ever again.

Finn gave him a very cute sheepish look. "I - I er - I sort of ran out on her."

Unfortunately, it made Kurt happy to know he had been put before Rachel Berry.

"You shouldn't have done that. I'm fine, Finn. You know how I am with cafeteria food," he said testily with a shake of his head. "It never settles right. The idea of food sitting in a container, and Gaga knows who's had their fingers in it." He shuddered to add effect.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Finn felt a wave of relief. He chuckled to himself, and Kurt arched a crafted eyebrow. "Sorry, I missed you, Kurt."

_Oh Gaga!_ Kurt whined inside. "I'm – sorry too. I wanted to come home, but with Sectionals the Warblers are making us stay the weekend."

"I understand, we have to practice on Sunday."

Kurt scowled. "I suggested that, but no some of them simply have to go to church as if it won't be waiting for them next Sunday."

Finn chuckled softly. "I'm sorry I woke you. I thought about going home, but then - I remember how sad you seemed, even in text messages."

It amused Kurt by how simple Finn was, and he wouldn't change it for anything. "I'd let you stay all night, but there's nowhere to sleep except the floor."

"This room is small," Finn gazed around the room. It looked like Kurt, but it was so small, and Kurt's big personality simply didn't do small.

Kurt handed Finn his water, and crawled out of the bed. Finn's eyes lingered unconsciously on the curve of Kurt's back. He was wearing soft satin gray pajama bottoms, and a silk white spaghetti strapped shirt that most females would wear, but because Kurt's shoulders were so small like the rest of his well shaped body it looked...

Finn shook his head of the thoughts.

"Must attend the gentleman's room," Kurt said heading to the door. He paused as he opened it, and glanced over his shoulder to see Finn staring at him with an intensity that scared Kurt. "Thank you."

"For what?" Finn asked.

"Thinking of me first," he breathed tenuously.

Finn almost didn't hear it, he had been so wrapped up by the glow of Kurt from the moonlight streaming into the bedroom. He shook his head, and took a drink of the icy water. For some reason, Kurt's water tasted better than normal water.

He put the cap back on, and placed it back in the fridge. He stood, and stared around the room. He really didn't want to go home.

Kurt returned about ten minutes later, and Finn noticed the rings around the boy's light eyes were gone, and his skin was no longer a chalky pale. He looked pristine, and he was holding three blankets, and a pillow.

"Is that for me?" Finn asked cheerfully.

Nodding, Kurt pushed the jock down onto the bed. "Take off your shoes, and lift your feet."

Finn didn't argue, and did as he was told, and watched as Kurt laid down the most comfortable looking bed on the floor. It would be a little cramped, but it would do. Finn never moved much in his sleep anyway.

"Thanks, Kurtie."

Kurt flinched at the nickname, and his cheeks heated once more. He was about to snap at Finn for calling him that, until he realized that Finn was using it as a term of endearment, and the goofy grin on Finn's face caused his heart overrule his sharp tongue.

"Good night, Finn," Kurt whispered slipping into his bed. He was now extremely tired.

"Night." So simple, and so imperfect was what Finn Hudson was, and Kurt shifted on his side, and listened to Finn's deep breathing until he was snoring.

Kurt rolled his eyes, and smiled as he too fell asleep shortly afterwards.


	3. Chapter 3

_**3.**_

_**That consciousness is everything and that all things begin with a thought. That we are responsible for our own fate, we reap what we sow, we get what we give, we pull in what we put out. I know these things for sure.  
Madonna**_

The sound of the alarm clock chirping caused a loud groan as the snores in the small room suddenly stopped.

Kurt's light eyes fluttered open automatically, and he stifled a yawn as he tried to remember why his floor was making noise. It didn't take too long to realize exactly why because when Kurt rolled over, the figure on the floor sat up.

"Why so early?" Finn whined mussing his hair up even more.

It was like his body had been throw into a sea of flames as he shimmied further into the covers, and brought the blanket to his face so that only his eyes were revealed.

"Practice," Kurt murmured behind the blanket. "If you're still tired, you can sleep in my bed."

Finn smiled groggily. "Cool!"

Kurt shifted, and swung his legs to the side of the bed, and he was careful not to step on the boy on the floor. His feet landed on the carpet, and his toes pressed against Finn's thigh.

Kurt placed a delicate hand to his mouth as he yawned quietly.

"I'll probably be back around one or so, and then we can leave." Kurt ignored the tugging of his heart as he draped his iron pressed uniform to his forearm, and headed for the bathrooms.

Finn crawled into Kurt's bed, and sighed as he sank into the sheets. He unconsciously brought one of the pillows close, and his nose twitched at the scent of Jasmine and Lilacs. He knew what these two were because Kurt's bottles of perfume had been labeled.

He had such a soft smell to him. He never thought a guy could smell like that. It was - awesome. His thoughts carried him away, and sent him back to sleep instantly.

Kurt smiled tenderly when he came back into the room, and sat at his makeshift vanity table. When he looked behind him, Finn was fast asleep curled beneath the covers, and a pillow buried into his face.

He sighed quietly as he turned back to the mirror, and eyed himself critically. There were no more rings around his eyes, and he tried to think of what he was going to say to the Warblers that had witnessed his atrocious breakdown yesterday.

Once everything was perfect, he snatched up his bag, and headed out of the dorm where he met Blaine on the way.

"Hi," Blaine beamed brightly, and Kurt nodded.

"Good morning," he said appropriately.

"You feeling better? What happened yesterday?"

"The food," Kurt lied smoothly. "I'm not a boy who likes to eat from a container," he said with a supreme air.

Blaine chuckled. "It's not that bad."

"I'm leaving today right after practice," Kurt insisted.

Blaine nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry you weren't able to go home last night. Sometimes, the Warblers spring things on us at the last minute."

Kurt smirked. "I probably would have turned my phone off if I'd been on the road."

Blaine gasped. "You'd ignore me?"

"I would have too. As much as I enjoy hearing from you, I really wouldn't have wanted to be called back to Dalton."

"Well at least I know you like to hear from me," Blaine said cheerfully.

Kurt hummed in response.

Practice was long, and filled with a lot of arguments over the set list. Wes, David, Blaine, and Nick were the biggest culprits. Kurt sat on a table, and waited for them to sort it out as he thought about the jock in his room. He wondered if Finn was awake? Now that Kurt had realized that he was still – crushing on the good-natured giant, it was much easier to deal with.

"Kurt said yesterday that we would most likely win if a singer named Rachel Berry takes center stage," Blaine said through the throng of arguing Warblers.

Everyone stopped, and eyes swiveled to the prettiest Warbler in the room. Kurt chuckled softly.

"Is this true?" Wes asked wide-eyed.

"She's good, don't get me wrong," Kurt insisted with his hands up. "She sings like an angel, perfectly in fact."

"Then how would we win?" Nick asked confused.

"The judges aren't looking for perfection," Kurt replied. "They are looking for talent. You see, Rachel sings without emotion. She'll try to out sing everyone around her, and not in sync like she should. Also, if Mr. Schuester chooses the songs that New Directions don't care about, they won't win. They won't care. All the audience and judges will see is the same thing over and over. If I were you, I'd go out, and have fun. If you enjoy the performance then chances are so will they. But, if they mix it up then it will be harder."

The Warblers took that into consideration as they continued for another hour of rehearsing what they were doing. Apparently, Blaine took Kurt's words to heart about enjoying the music rather than being perfect.

Kurt could not have been more pleased when practice came to a close. He was the first one out of the room before anyone could decide that they were going to have an extra night of practicing. If he had to avoid every Warbler in the school to get home then he would.

He met Finn just outside of his room. The boy looked disheveled as if he'd just woken up.

"Where's the bathrooms?" Finn asked confused. "I really have to pee."

Kurt laughed softly, and pointed down the hall. "On the right. I'm going to change, and pack some things. We're leaving."

Finn nodded as he ambled down the hall to the bathroom.

Kurt shook his head fondly, and headed into his room to change into something more flattering than the bland Dalton uniform. He decided on a soft crème colored long sleeved shirt with a fold around the neck, and a pair of tight black skinny jeans, black ankle cut boots, and a second round of moisturizer.

He changed his too perfect hair, and mussed it up at the top with a little gel. He was just spraying some cologne when Finn came back into the room.

"Man, I'd love to have the showers you guys have here. They're nice!" Finn crowed. Apparently, he'd taken a shower within the time that Kurt had gotten dressed. His hair was still a little damp. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. "Uh – I need a toothbrush."

Kurt tried not to sigh at Finn's adorable face. He had absolutely no idea that he was being cute, and that's what made Kurt suffer. Wordlessly, he slipped his hand into a drawer, and pulled out a brand new toothbrush, and a small sample pack of Rembrandt. He handed it to Finn who beamed.

"Awesome! Thanks Kurtie!" He squeezed the boy's shoulder, and ran out of the room with a whooping sound.

Kurt left his clothes because he still had a whole closet full at home, and snatched up his bag, and some spare moisturizers.

Kurt met Finn outside of the bathrooms, and that silly goofy smile was plastered on Finn's face. "Hey, Kurtie, I'm starving!" he whined.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "We'll take your car. You can drive me back Sunday right?"

Finn beamed. "Of course! Anything for you," he said that just as Blaine and Wes rounded the corner in hopes of looking for him. Finn's arm went around Kurt's shoulder. "You want to eat on the way?"

"Yes, please. I'm famished."

"Kurt?" Blaine looked shocked, and so did Wes.

Kurt smiled beautifully. "Hey Blaine, Wes." He nodded. "Guys, this is Finn."

"Hey dudes!" Finn greeted with a wave.

Wes nodded. "Nice to meet you, I'm Wes and this is Blaine."

"Yeah, it's a pleasure, Blaine Anderson."

Blaine was short, and his teeth were too white and perfect. He glanced once at Kurt who was beaming, and telling the two boys that he was going home. Blaine seemed to hardly be listening because he was staring at Finn. The tall jock stared right back at the perfectly pressed teenage boy.

"See you boys Sunday," Kurt said and tugged on Finn. "Come on, let's go. I thought you were famished?"

Finn tore his eyes away from the short Warbler, and looked down at Kurt, and it made his grin return in full. "That means starving right?" he asked scratching the top of his head.

Kurt only nodded as he smiled endearingly. "Good job, Finn." He clapped playfully causing Finn's grin to turn goofy.

"Then let's get going, Kurtie!" He tugged Kurt toward the staircase, Blaine and Wes still watching in shock.

"Wait!" Kurt placed a hand on Finn's chest, and ignored the buzzing inside of him. "I'm driving." He didn't even think about it as he put his hands into the pocket of the boy's jeans.

Finn was about to protest, but he stopped when something took hold of him. The sensation of very thin delicate fingers sliding into his jeans pockets caused Finn's body to grow unusually warm. "Sure," he mumbled as Kurt nodded slowly.

Kurt hadn't been thinking when he decided to literally stick his hands into Finn's pants, and now that he thought about it, his face was flaming, and his body reacted. Quickly, he threw the keys in the air, and caught them before spinning on his heel, and gliding down the stairs.

Finn was still standing at the top watching as the slim figure move like rolling fog. It was like he wasn't even touching the ground the way he moved.

He shook his head, and quickly followed with a lot less grace. It was then that he noticed that Kurt's jeans were really tight, and for some reason he couldn't take his eyes off them.

They got to Finn's truck, and he looked over his shoulder to see Finn bumbling along behind him. "You coming?"

Finn blinked. "Huh? Oh, yes, right." He was so confused right now. He scrambled to the passenger's side, and slammed it shut with a heavy sigh.

"You okay? You can't be that hungry," Kurt teased as he snapped his seatbelt.

Laughing weakly, Finn shrugged. "You know, a growing man has to eat."

"Right, how about O'Charley's?"

"Cool."

"You don't care do you?"

"Nah, food is food. It's all good."

"Pig," Kurt teased.

"_Oink, oink_."

Kurt giggled softly, and leaned back in the seat. He could feel Finn's eyes on him, and it caused him to grip the steering wheel a little tighter. What was he looking at?

"_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand here me cry, but that's alright because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie…" _Kurt started singing to one of the few Rhinannon and Eminem songs he really liked.

Finn frowned at the radio. "That song always made me sad. If you love someone why would you hurt them?"

"Sometimes, Finn, people enjoy being hurt."

"Why?"

Kurt shrugged. "Just the way they are," he quipped. "Some people are destructive together, and then you have people who are bland."

"What about in between?"

"There's a lot in between."

"I think me and Quinn were destructive," Finn commented.

"Mhmm," Kurt agreed.

"We both wanted different things. I – I was such an ass, and that's what Quinn liked. I wasn't me."

"Everyone struggles with who they are, Finn."

"But, I was horrible, I hurt people, I hurt you-"

"You never hurt me."

"I didn't help you."

"Are we onto that again?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow as he turned into the restaurant parking lot. "That's over with, Finn."

"But, how can you be so accepting? Of Quinn, Puck, me, and even Santana and Brittany when they had made your life hell?"

Kurt unbuckled his belt, and picked up his bag. He leveled Finn with a serious look. "I'm better than that, Finn. I pick and choose my battles wisely."

Since it was the middle of the day, there weren't as many people in the restaurant, and they were seated immediately at a booth in the back. Kurt ordered a soup and salad, while Finn decided to get a huge steak with other fattening items on the menu.

Finn played with his hands for a moment before looking up at Kurt who was sipping on his Diet Pepsi. "How you liking, Dalton?"

Kurt smiled fondly. "It's challenging," he confessed, "But, I can walk the halls without fearing a slushy facial, and I don't get teased or thrown in the dumpster anymore. Everyone treats me with respect, and the Warblers are pretty interesting. Not as much fun as New Directions, but what can I do?"

"Sounds like a nice place. I wish it wasn't so far though. You're gone all week, and the house is empty."

"You have dad and Carole."

"It's not the same," Finn confessed.

"Well, I like the anonymity that I have. The only thing I don't appreciate is the lack of creativity in the uniforms. They're stifling, and they really put a dent in my fashion."

"There's not as much zing in New Directions without you. Everyone is having their own drama. Between Brittany, Artie, and Santana to Quinn and Sam, me and Rachel."

Kurt gave a mock sigh. "To be young, dumb, and full of high school drama. All I have at Dalton is homework, homework, and homework."

"Yuck. I wouldn't last a day."

"No, Finn you wouldn't. Then again, I doubt Artie would last a day."

"Really? He's like super smart."

"Well, he'd survive, but the workload would probably drive anyone nuts. How's Sectional practice coming?"

"It's coming, but everyone's fighting about it."

"As always."

Their food came, and Kurt had to struggle not to laugh when Finn wolfed half of it down. Kurt shook his head in amusement as he poured Balsamic Vinaigrette over his salad. "Don't choke on me," he warned.

"Nah, so good!" Finn groaned. "I haven't had a steak in ages. I thought you said you were hungry?" he pointed his fork to Kurt's salad.

"I am, and this is perfect. I love their dressing."

Finn scoffed. "That would not fill me up."

"I have a soup," he pointed to the cheddar potato soup cup, and the rolls. "This'll do me fine."

"But, you'll be hungry again."

"Its fine, Finn," Kurt insisted taking a bite. "Worry about you, and your gluttonous food, and leave me out of it."

Finn shrugged. "I'll half this with you if you're still hungry."

"No way am I putting those toxins in my body," Kurt pointed out sternly. "The potato is a maybe, but that steak has so much fat and salt on it."

Finn beamed. "That's what I like about it." To Kurt's surprise, Finn insisted on paying. "My treat."

"I'll leave the tip then," Kurt threw down a ten, and slipped his bag over his shoulder. "I'll return shortly."

Finn's eyes unconsciously followed Kurt's movements until he was out of sight completely. What was going on with him? Why was he so distracted by Kurt? Lately, Kurt was all he could think about. He couldn't even enjoy a good make-out with Rachel because every time he did, Kurt would spring into his mind, and it caused his heart to speed up. It always made him want to get away from Rachel as quickly as possible, like he was doing something wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

"_**A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."**_

_**Madonna**_

It was so nice being home, Kurt laid in his big bed with the silk sheets wrapped around his torso as he watched _Project Runway's_ latest episode. He was cuddled up to his pillows, and his thoughts fluttered away from his TV show to the tall jock that lived in his house.

How was he supposed to deal with these feelings? Finn was supposed to become his brother, but that was impossible right now. Why did Finn have to be so damn endearing? Why did he have to make Kurt's blood rise? It was pure torture.

The door opened, and Kurt knew exactly who it was. Finn was the only one who didn't know how to knock.

"Comfortable?" Finn asked strangely.

Kurt tilted his head, and looked at the adorably awkward jock. It always made him smile because Finn was so silly. "Sure am." He uncurled his legs, and moved them to the side as Finn plopped down beside him.

It might have been because he was a lonely little masochist, but Kurt placed his legs back on top of Finn's thick thighs. He waited tensely for the teen to shove them off, but instead, Finn shifted to get more comfortable, and one arm draped over the side of Kurt's knees. "Much more comfortable now." Kurt smiled playfully, and Finn chuckled.

"What are you watching?" Finn asked with a frown. "Those girls are hot, but they're half dressed."

"You like prude's," Kurt teased turning the TV off.

"I do not!"

Kurt snorted. "Uhm, Rachel?"

"Well that's different, I think." Finn blushed. He really didn't want to talk about Rachel. In fact, he felt very uncomfortable talking about Rachel with Kurt, like it was wrong. "Least I don't like short guys."

"_Hey_!" Kurt dug his heel into Finn's leg. "I do _not_ like Blaine!" he protested.

Finn blinked, and looked at Kurt surprised. "You don't?"

"No!" Kurt squeaked, and turned away from Finn suddenly. His face was burning, and his stomach was twirling dangerously.

There was a sudden feeling of excitement that burned through Finn like alcohol. He looked over at Kurt. "Why?" he dared to ask.

Kurt could refuse to answer, answer and lie, or answer and tell the truth. He distracted himself briefly with his fingernails, and glanced sideways at Finn who was now looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"He's perfect," Kurt answered.

Finn was a little confused. "That's why?"

"Everything about him is perfect, and planned, and expected. He's gorgeous, and I did like him. I do like him, but it's like he's a statue."

"I get it," Finn quipped, and Kurt arched an eyebrow doubtfully. "What? I do! You need someone who can always make you laugh, and who can make things fun, and interesting. It's like earlier when we talked about relationships being destructive and boring. He's so perfect that it would be boring, right?"

Kurt was impressed. "You surprise me sometimes, Finn Hudson."

Finn blushed, and rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, well, I try. Hey – want to watch something?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" Kurt asked dubiously.

"How about RENT?"

Once again, Kurt was shocked by Finn's unpredictable behavior, and he inwardly sighed. Finn was anything but perfect.

"You get it. It's over there in the glass case, third from the right of my porcelain angel."

Finn beamed, and gently scooped Kurt's legs up and placed them on the bed. His heart was getting warmer, and his head was becoming a little fuzzy. He popped the DVD in, and snatched the remote as he plopped back down on the bed ungracefully.

Kurt wiggled the remote away from the brute, and placed his legs back where they belonged as he started the movie. He pointed to the lights, and Finn leaned backwards and flipped them off.

Beautiful and sad, Kurt and Finn sang in all the right places in tune with Angel and Tom Collins. Kurt sighed longingly as he watched the chemistry fly between Tom and Angel. He wished he could find a love like that. He wished he could be in New York, and enjoy romance out in the open. It would be amazing to be so free to be who he was, and not be scorned. New York would be the place where he could let all his inhibitions run wild, and love who he wanted without scorn.

Finn gazed over at Kurt, and a feeling of heated need went through him dangerously. It was like he wanted to pull Kurt closer, and hold him tightly in his arms.

He thought about what that meant, and why he would want to do that. Why was he thinking this way now? Why was it that Kurt was always on his mind? It all started when his mother had decided to get married to Kurt's father, and when Sam, Mike, and everyone in New Directions had chastised him for not helping to protect Kurt.

Finn had been such a dick, and he knew it. It was his fault that Kurt couldn't remain at McKinley and now with him gone it was like a piece of him had been ripped from his chest. He leaned back against the many lavender scented pillows, and closed his eyes before he could watch Angel die. It always made his heart ache.

Kurt sniffled, and Finn's eyes snapped open as he glanced at the boy who was biting his lip while staring at the TV.

Instinctively, he reached out and took Kurt's hand, momentarily shocking the countertenor.

"I hate this part, I usually cover my eyes," Finn admitted.

"They should be immortal," Kurt's heart raced when Finn had taken up his hand. It was so warm and big covering his smaller hand. He tried not to think too much on it. Just Finn being a friendly companion. "A love like that will never die. So much better than the Titanic."

Finn shuddered. "I hated the Titanic," he muttered.

Kurt snickered. "Not surprising."

"Too long!" Finn whined.

Kurt shifted onto his side, facing Finn as he glanced sideways at the movie. His knees were bent and pressed against Finn's thighs.

Finn was on his back, and he was trying not to stare too much at Kurt, but it was hard. Every time he glanced at Kurt he would find something new and fascinating to latch onto. After a few minutes of doing this, Kurt couldn't take it any longer.

"What?" he asked hiding his nervousness. Perhaps, he was too close?

"I'm glad you're home," he whispered hoarsely.

Kurt's heart stopped for the briefest moment. He adjusted his pillow, and turned away from the movie completely. "I'm happy to be home, Finn."

By the time the credits rolled, both Kurt and Finn had fallen asleep. Burt was the one who found them. At first he was shocked to see the boys laying together in bed, and he probably should wake them up, but Burt didn't have the heart.

Not long ago the two had been on the outs, but now things had changed, and Burt was glad. Although, Burt knew that Kurt was lonely, and that hurt. He hated to know that his boy was being penalized for being who he was in a state of fickle backwater rednecks.

He quietly turned the flat screen TV off, and snuck back out of the room. No need to tell Carole about this.

oOo

Kurt awoke to smothering warmth pressed into his back, and hot tingly breath against his neck. He blearily opened his eyes as he attempted to piece together who was laying against him, and why.

He tried not to shiver when he felt arms tightening on his waist. When he glanced over his shoulder, and gasped quietly as the blood rushed to his cheeks. Finn's face was literally one centimeter from his own, and his chest was molded along Kurt's back.

_Oh my Gaga!_ Kurt thought in horror. He turned back, and stared at the far wall where his Marilyn Monroe tribute was hanging prettily. _How? When? Oh my-!_ His head kept rolling with the same weasel words, and he could not find it in him to wiggle away. _Why was Finn holding him like his life depended on it?_ The grip was tight, and as much as Kurt loved it, he feared the jock's reaction when he woke and saw them in such a questionable position.

_Dammit!_

Kurt looked back at Finn's peaceful face, and resisted the urge to pout. _Why did Finn have to look so damn adorable? _It was not fair at all.

His flushed state worsened when Finn pushed into him further, and his nose literally buried into the side of Kurt's neck.

Kurt's eyes rolled as desire flooded every inch of his body, and he had to bite down hard on his lower lip to keep from moaning.

Finn was in Kurt's danger zone. He was in such pleasant misery right now.

He closed his eyes tight as he willed the desire to disappear, but to no avail, it would not go away. Kurt tried to think of every way possible to get out from under Finn's grip, but there was nothing. He lay there helplessly until he felt Finn beginning to stir.

It was like his heart was about to explode. He was so terrified of what would happen when Finn finally woke. That desire coupled with fear climbed down Kurt's chest and into his belly. He buried his feverish face into the pillow, and waited for the inevitable. He wondered how bad he would react?

Finn's arms loosened briefly before tightening again around Kurt's waist, and he could feel a few muscles twitching as dream land began to clear. Kurt laid as still as he possibly could, his heart pounding louder and faster, and his ears began to ring. He even held his breath, and waited for the oncoming lash.

"You're comfortable," Finn murmured sleepily, and snuggled further into Kurt. "Smell good too."

Kurt's heart did a cry of joy, and his body shivered as his head lolled to the side. His eyes opened, and he stared into Finn's baby blues. "Good morning to you too," he said trying to keep his mouth closed so that morning dragon breath wouldn't eat them alive.

Finn had woke feeling unusually good. He was used to morning woodies, but this was completely different. He was – _well_ – to put it mildly so stiff that it was painful. His whole body was hot like someone had thrown him in a barbeque, and the soft scent of lavender and lilac invaded his dreams causing them to become wet and sexual filled.

He knew what that meant, but he didn't understand why it was like that. Why now? It was so confusing, Finn Hudson had never liked guys before. He was absolutely positive of that fact so why was he feeling so strongly toward someone who was supposed to be his step-brother? _Why?_ He kept asking himself that, but he couldn't find an answer. It was like Geometry; so many shapes and lines that he couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"We fall asleep last night?"

"Mhmm," Kurt didn't know what else to say because the fear had dissolved, and it was replaced by the full feeling of want.

"Cool. You're bed is so comfortable."

Kurt's eyes rolled on their own accord when Finn's hand flexed against him. "Glad you think so," he quipped quietly.

"Time is it?"

Kurt glanced over at his black and white porcelain clock. "After ten. We should get up before anyone comes in, and sees us," he suggested.

Finn instinctively squeezed Kurt tighter. "I guess we should."

If Kurt was held any tighter he would squeak, but he couldn't deny how nice it felt. A long dramatic pause between the two of them lingered in the open air, and neither boy moved for a while.

Kurt decided that he should make the first move, and turned onto his side as best as he could. He had to wiggle a little, and this caused Finn's eyes to dilate, and a spark of lust ignite.

"You're a cuddle bug," Kurt teased lightly.

"I love holding things," Finn admitted.

"_Things_? I'm a _thing_?" Kurt arched a challenging eyebrow.

Finn rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean!"

"Mhmm."

Kurt was supposed to be the one to make the first move on getting up, but it seemed that Finn didn't want to relinquish his hold, and Kurt couldn't get himself to mind at all.

It so happened that their phones would be the one forcing them to move. First it was Kurt's, and not a moment later Finn's rang.

Both boys unwound themselves from each other's arms as Gaga and REM played out of sync with each other.

"Hey Rachel," Finn muttered unhappily.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt answered with discomfort.

Finn and Kurt looked at each other for a moment, ignoring what their companions on the other line had to say, and then Finn hustled out of the bedroom.

Letting out a big breath that he didn't even know he was holding, Kurt laid back down.

"What's wrong, Kurt?" Blaine asked in concern.

"Nothing," he lied smoothly. "I just woke."

"I'm surprised you answered. I thought you'd ignore me in fear of a Warblers' practice?"

"I was distracted when you called. You got lucky, and I warn you, I'm not coming back until later tonight so if you want to tell me there's Warblers' practice then I'm going to tell you I don't have a ride."

Blaine laughed. "No, I wasn't going to hound you about Warblers' practice, I know how much you wanted to go home last night. How about we get together at the Lima Bean? It's been a while."

Kurt was already moving around the room. "At one?"

"One sounds perfect. I'll see you then."

Kurt didn't see Finn for the rest of the morning, and he was kind of glad because things had gotten a little awkward between the two of them, and now Kurt didn't know what to do.

He finished dressing, and scowled when he realized he didn't have his car. It was almost one o' clock, and Kurt knew that Finn was in his room most likely either talking with Rachel or playing his video games.

He didn't want to face Finn at the moment, but he had no choice. He could only hope Finn would let him borrow his truck for a bit.

Kurt braced himself as he stood outside of Finn's room, and then he tapped on it. "_Finn?_"

There was clunky movement, and then Finn jerked the door open. His eyes were wide, and a little glazed.

"Kurt!"

"Are you going anywhere in the next couple hours?" he asked neutrally.

Finn had to think about the question for a moment before he shook his head. "No."

"Can I borrow your truck, then? I won't be long."

"Oh yeah!" Finn nodded, and went for his keys as Kurt leaned against the doorframe, and peered in to see the place a total mess. It was a typical Finn Hudson bedroom. "Be careful."

Kurt smiled as he took them. "Just going for some coffee. Thank you," he whispered walking away.

Finn watched him go, and breathed out a sigh of frustration as he closed the door. He leaned against it heavily, and his shoulders sagged. What was he supposed to do? He was having very strong feelings for Kurt. The type of feelings he'd never had before. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Even when Kurt had been crushing on him, Finn had been totally flattered. He'd never had a guy actually crush on him before, and Kurt was a really good friend. He enjoyed being around Kurt even then, but he'd been so wrapped up in the need for popularity that he had been so undeniably selfish.

Well, that was long over with, Finn knew he wasn't the smartest boy in the school, but he learned from his mistakes. Now Finn was falling into something that he could not understand. Why was he having stronger than strong feelings for Kurt? Why was it that he wanted to spend every moment with him? Why did he feel so hot and needy? This had never happened with Rachel or Quinn.

It all started around the time he'd sang for Kurt at the wedding. He had meant every word of it; Kurt was absolutely beautiful from the inside and outside. He was selfless unlike Rachel and Quinn. He was sweet, and he always gave his all in everything he did. He had to try and figure out what was going on with him, and what he should do. It was only difficult because Finn was so confused.

When his cell rang he thought about not answering it, but then he felt bad for ignoring Rachel when she'd done nothing wrong.

"Hey Rach," Finn said answering it after a moment.

"Finn! You should come over, and we can watch a movie and hang out. I haven't seen you all weekend!" Rachel whined.

Finn grimaced as he sat down on his bed. "Uhm, sorry Rachel, Kurt has my truck."

"What? Why?"

"His car's at Dalton, and he wanted to go for coffee."

"But, you never let anyone drive your truck! You practically tore Puck's head off when he asked!"

"Yeah, well, Puck isn't exactly a good driver. Kurt's the best driver I know, even better than my mom and Burt."

"Call him and get it back. I can do it right now. You need to come over!"

"No, Rachel," Finn said heavily. "Kurt's fine, and besides when he gets back I kind of wanted to spend time with him."

"But, Finn, I'm your girlfriend!"

"Yeah, and I get to see you nearly every day. This is the first time Kurt has been home for two weeks. I want to see him, and make sure Dalton is treating him right."

Rachel scoffed. "What's with the change all of a sudden, Finn? You didn't care before!"

"Well, I do now. I realized at the wedding that reputation is nothing more than trouble, and friends and family are the most important. Look, Rachel, I have to go. I've got something important to do."

His girlfriend huffed loudly. "_Fine_! I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah, bye Rach." He threw the phone onto his pillow, and laid back with a sigh. What was he going to do? There was a feeling in his gut, and it was the kind of feeling that made Finn rethink everything he'd ever known, and most importantly, rethink Kurt Hummel.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

"_**Things haven't been the same, Since you came into my life  
You found a way to touch my soul, And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go"**_

_**Madonna**_

The smell of coffee tickled Kurt's nose as he ordered his non-fat mocha. Blaine was already there waiting for him. He ordered a low-fat muffin, and headed over to their usual table by the window.

"Good afternoon," Kurt chirped as he sat primly across from his best friend.

Blaine beamed brightly. "You look really happy."

Kurt knew Blaine would take full notice. Ever since he had started at Dalton, he had felt like he was wilting like a flower without water. He couldn't help it, but waking up with Finn had been –_ amazing_, and although he'd had a rather complicated reaction, he was still thrilled because Finn hadn't yanked away in disgust.

In fact, he was the total opposite of disgust, and Kurt's heart had never beat so fast before.

"Well, I had a good night. I watched RENT, and spent time with my family," Kurt hedged as truthfully as he could. "It was nice."

Blaine inclined his head. "What about that guy who picked you up?" he asked, and Kurt hesitated on taking a bite of his muffin.

He sipped his mocha in hopes of getting a second to gather his thoughts. "That's complicated," he said simply. "We're friends." For some reason, Kurt couldn't quite tell Blaine that he was technically a 'step-brother.' He simply couldn't.

Blaine sat up straighter. "Really?"

"Yeah, he's part of New Directions."

"Seemed more than that."

Kurt laughed hollowly. "Finn? No, no. Finn's not gay," he assured, and even though he tried to hide it, a hint of sadness had leaked through anyway.

Blaine quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You know for sure?"

"Mhmm," Kurt hummed.

"He could be bisexual."

"Doubtful."

"Why not? Is it that hard to believe?" Blaine prodded.

Kurt snorted elegantly, and continued to nibble on his muffin. "I know from firsthand experience that Finn's not gay. Let's leave it at that."

"Alright, but I'm not totally convinced."

Kurt shook his head, and changed the subject, and that prompted the two of them to head to the mall after their rendezvous at the coffee shop.

"I only have a couple hours. I borrowed Finn's truck."

Blaine's eyebrows rose at that, but he didn't say anything more about Finn or the boy's sexuality, which Kurt was thankful for. It was awkward enough. Also, he didn't want to get his hopes up, there was nothing going on between them except an odd friendliness that had never been there before.

When he returned home, Burt and Carole were in the living room watching something on TLC.

Finn came bumbling down the steps with a goofy smile. Kurt tossed him his keys.

"Thanks, Finn. I needed a little color," he confessed holding up two shopping bags.

"No problem. Did you have fun?" Finn asked shoving his hands into his pockets casually.

Kurt nodded as Carole inquired about what he bought.

"Ooh, I picked up a couple scarves, they had an amazing sale at Macy's."

"That is so pretty!" she cooed at the burgundy and hunter green one. It was her favorite color.

"It's a good thing I bought it with you in mind then isn't it?" he asked wrapping it elegantly around her neck.

"Awe, Kurt you shouldn't have!"

Burt was beaming.

"I love buying for ladies," he chirped happily.

Finn plopped down in the recliner, and Kurt casually sat on the arm as Burt asked him the typical questions of where he had been, and who he was with.

Finn twitched when he heard that Kurt had been with Blaine.

"That reminds me. I have something for you too, Finn. You can impress Rachel." He held out the bag. "Saw it at Macy's."

It was a casual, but dressy deep blue long sleeved shirt. "Hey! Thanks Kurt."

"Even with Rachel's horrible fashion sense she knows that blue is your color."

"What about me?" Burt teased with a silly grin.

"I am making dinner. I will never go into the flannel department of any store," he insisted hopping up.

Carole giggled as she patted Burt's knee endearingly. "I can't see Kurt going into the flannel department anyway."

"True."

Before Kurt walked away completely, he tossed something over Burt's head causing it to fall into his lap. It was a brand new leather wallet, and Burt chuckled loudly.

"Yours was falling apart," Carole commented.

Kurt started singing as he pulled things out for a nice family dinner, and he was so occupied that he hadn't heard Finn's ungraceful steps, until the shadow consumed him completely, and he jumped with a soft yelp.

"Sorry," Finn said from directly behind Kurt.

Eyes widened, and his cheeks stained with color as he gazed over his shoulder at the massively tall teen.

"_Finn_! You scared the Prada out of me!" he placed a hand on his chest.

Finn grinned. "Whatchya cookin'?" he asked curiously. "I love your cooking! It's always the best," he whispered, and then looked over his shoulder. "Don't tell mom I said that."

"Shrimp stir-fry."

"Mmm, can I help?"

"Get the rice out." He pointed to the pantry, and Finn immediately went to fetch it.

Finn sat across from Kurt on the island bar, and watched him work around the kitchen like he was born to. "You're good at everything," he finally commented.

Kurt's cheeks remained stained at the sudden compliment. "Am I?"

"Yeah. You do girl things and guy things. It's so cool! You're comfortable with who you are."

"Thanks, Finn, I think…"

"I only meant – that – you're so talented."

"I know what you meant. I'm just not used to hearing it," he confessed.

"Well, you should hear it! Like, all the time."

Kurt's stomach was filled with butterflies, why the hell did Finn have to be so naively sweet? It was not fair, not fair at all. "Thank you," he whispered sincerely.

Finn continued to watch, following Kurt's every move, and noticing the black hand-prints on the back pockets of his stonewash skinny jeans. He was also wearing a crème colored soft looking turtle neck, and every now and then when Kurt had to bend down, the shirt would rise, and gave Finn full view of ivory flesh.

Desire hit him once more in an strange way. He tried to tear his eyes away, and even close them, but they naturally reopened, and resumed their watching.

"I don't want you to leave," Finn murmured before he could stop himself. He also wanted to figure whatever was going on with him out. It was different, and maybe it had something to do with Kurt pulling away. Kurt had finally given up on him, _or_ it could have been because Kurt had always been there, and now that he was gone it sucked.

Kurt stopped what he was doing, and whirled around to see the dejected look on Finn's face. "I have too."

Finn frowned, and looked down at the counter. "C- Can't you stay one more night? You can go back in the morning?" He looked hopeful, and Kurt's heart beat faster.

"How, Finn? It's a two hour drive to Westerville, and my car isn't here."

Finn gazed up with a hopeful glint in his big blue eyes. "I can take you? I don't care if I have to wake up at five to get you there. I – I want you stay."

Kurt's heart swelled with emotion, and he smiled softly at Finn. "I'll see what I can do, Finn."

When everyone sat around for dinner, and all the compliments made Kurt's cheeks get rosy once more, Finn brought up Kurt staying another night. He promised to get him to school on time.

Burt was surprised. "Well, if you want. I'd love to have you here kid, this house is so dull without you."

"It sure is," Carole chimed in between bites. "And – for once, I will write Finn a note so that he doesn't have to wake at five o' clock. You can be late."

Finn beamed. "Yes! I promise, I won't make it a habit mom!" He insisted. "It's just this is the first time in two weeks since he's been home, and New Directions sucks without him."

Kurt rolled his eyes, and leaned toward Finn. "_He_ is sitting right here."

Everyone chuckled, and Finn grinned goofily. "I don't like being the only teenager in the house anymore. I'm used to the both of us around."

Burt and Carole laughed lightly, and Kurt smiled sweetly, his heart beating ever faster.

Finn always has to make things complicated, didn't he?

oOo

Kurt sat at his vanity table that evening with a content sigh. In the background, his Wicked soundtrack was playing softly, and he began his facial regimen, which he'd totally forgotten last night.

The moisturizer felt cool, and smooth on his skin as he rubbed it in with slow and gentle circles until the white cream sank into his skin leaving it softer and blemish free. He dried his hair from his nightly shower afterwards, and went off to brush his teeth, and wash his hands.

He hummed as he glided back into his bedroom, and he paused when he saw Finn standing there wearing a white t-shirt and black and white sports shorts.

Kurt was wearing thin silky pale blue pajama shorts, and a matching loose fitting pajama top.

"Thought I'd come in and talk for a bit," he said quietly, and then added hastily, "If you don't mind."

Kurt smiled endearingly. "You know you can come in to talk any time, Finn." He pulled his duvet back and gracefully slid into the bed. He patted the side, and immediately Finn got in with him.

The chemistry between them was dangerously buzzing, but Kurt and Finn attempted to ignore it as best as they could.

Kurt adjusted his pillows so that he was half sitting up. "What's on your mind?"

Finn tugged the covers to his hips, and his arm brushed against Kurt's as he did. He paused, and looked over at the beautiful boy lying there looking like some sort of Goddess, although he wasn't female, but _God_ simply didn't do Kurt justice.

"There's a lot of my mind," Finn confessed quietly.

"Whenever you're ready," Kurt hummed. "We can lay here in the silence or you can turn the lights off, and we can talk? It might be easier."

That was a great idea! Finn thought reaching back to hit the switch. Perhaps, if he was covered in the dark he would be able to think better without being so embarrassed or nervous.

They were bathed in sudden darkness, and Kurt sighed softly as he closed his eyes, and waited for several heart beats.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately," Finn's husky voice came out nervous and soft.

Kurt made a soft hum to let Finn know he was listening.

"I – I don't know what to do or what to think. I'm so confused."

"We all get confused, Finn. We're human, and it always works out that way."

"Yeah, but lately, I've been able to be myself without caring about my reputation."

"That's good."

"I like myself a lot better now. I could never defend myself before because I wasn't acting realistic."

"How do you defend a lie?"

"_Exactly!_ Quinn was part of that lie. I thought that popularity was the most important thing in the world."

"It is to some people."

"But, it's not to me!" Finn insisted. "Not to me," he stressed.

"You're a good person, Finn. Even when your popularity was on the line, you were always nice. You never said a mean word to anyone. You followed a lot of people, but you didn't act out. Not like Noah or like David."

Finn scowled. "I'd never be like them."

"I can't hate someone I pity, Finn."

"Why?"

"He was scared," Kurt said sadly. "He was absolutely terrified, and not everyone has a father like mine. I must have drove him crazy because I was everything that he was, and yet he grew up denying it. I wish I could reach out and help him."

"You're too good of a person Kurt."

"I also understand how hard it is in this backwater state that sexuality is as important as the Christian God. It is why I want to move to New York. I can be free, and be who I want, and live a life like I was supposed to. Sexuality isn't a light switch. It doesn't turn off and on."

"Doesn't it?" Finn asked seeing an opening.

"Mmm, no," Kurt said gently. "But some people only see two sides of sexuality. They see gay and they see straight. They do not see what else is out there."

Finn's eyes flickered in the total darkness, and he could barely make out Kurt's slim form. "What do you mean? There is more out there?"

"A lot more."

"Tell me!" Finn insisted. "Please?"

Kurt opened his eyes, and even though he couldn't fully see Finn, he could make out the turn of Finn's head, and the way his hands moved nervously.

"You know there is bisexual. It's a very common label."

"Yeah of course."

"People use the term bisexual because it is easier to accept, and we are humans. Some people are, and some people are not. It's an easily abused term. We are not robots. We're not programmed to be one way and one way only. That's what a lot of America sees, and it is not true. We do not have wires, and we don't have built in computers."

"What's that mean?"

"There are people who are asexual."

"…." Finn didn't understand, and obviously Kurt knew that.

"They have no interest in either sex."

"You mean, no attraction? Man, that would suck! How is that possible?"

Kurt smiled blithely. "Oh, it's possible, Finn. It's not common, but it does happen. If I had to pick out one asexual person in the school it would have to be Coach Sylvester, although I could be wrong. She simply doesn't seem interested. I know she's probably been someone, but when it comes to longing, and the desire – I don't see her desiring anyone but herself."

"Really?"

"Mhmm, she may have dated in the past, but she doesn't really get on with either gender. She is not all that attracted to them. It's so obvious."

"Huh, I guess I can see that," Finn admitted. He was feeling more comfortable with this conversation, and they lapsed into a tender silence, and then Finn got the courage to push forward. "Kurt?"

"Yes, Finn?" Kurt asked. His body had been sinking further down into the bed, and he had turned on his side, and he was very nearly asleep.

Finn gripped the covers. "What about people who likes girls, but sometimes likes a guy?" He held his breath, and closed his eyes. He was so glad that it was dark.

Kurt's eyes flicked open at that, and he frowned a bit. "What do you mean?"

"Like a guy who is really attracted to girls they know real well, but aren't that attracted to girls they don't know, and yet they sometimes like a guy as well? But, it's not all the time. It wouldn't be bisexual would it?"

Once more silence reigned through the room.

"Did I say something wrong?" Finn asked nervously.

"No," Kurt breathed. "Pansexual," he finally answered.

"What's that?"

"Gender blind, and personality attraction. Pansexual is less common knowledge, but it is definitely a preference. It's like Metrosexual."

"What's that?"

"Sam," Kurt answered.

"I don't get it?"

"I thought Sam was gay when I first saw him."

"Really?"

"Yes, his hair was dyed blond, and he was so sensitive, and yet geeky in an adorable way. I then realized that he wasn't gay, but a Metrosexual, and he might even be a Pansexual. He never had a problem with me, not once. Hell, he even wanted to sing with me, even after I backed out."

Finn closed his eyes tight, and pain welled up in his chest. "I'm sorry."

"No, you were right."

"I was not. I was never right back then. I was such a little ass. I mean, if I met myself then right now, I'd punch me! Does that make sense?"

Kurt chuckled weakly. "Yes, it does."

"Good, I'm not good at explaining things well."

"You do fine, Finn." Kurt turned over onto his other side away from Finn. His head was spinning with all kinds of thoughts, but they couldn't latch on.

Why was Finn so curious? It wasn't possible that he could be Pansexual was it? Kurt was sure that wasn't the case, he was probably just curious, and he'd never had his questions answered. Still, his heart kept trying to pump him with a linger of hope.

"Why did you like me?" Finn asked out of nowhere.

Kurt resisted the urge to groan as he buried his face into the pillow naturally. That question had to be asked didn't it? "Hmm."

"Kurt?" Finn noticed that the boy had turned away from him completely, and frowned. He gently placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt?" He scooted closer until he was spooned up against the warm slim frame. "Are you okay? Did I ask the wrong thing?"

Kurt was frozen where he lay, and it was like his heart had stopped briefly. "Nnn." So unintelligent, he could hardly form anything on his tongue, which was rare.

Concerned, Finn looped his arm around Kurt's frame and pulled him close. Kurt's eyes rolled when his back pressed into the hard heated chest. "Finn – _that_ is an evil question."

"Is it?" Finn's breath was minty, and it brushed along Kurt's ear causing him to shiver. "I wonder, what did you see in me? What did Rachel see in me? I know what Quinn saw in me, I don't need to ask that."

"Finn," Kurt moaned weakly, "You want an answer?"

"If you can give it to me." Finn squeezed Kurt closer to his chest, and buried his nose into the boy's neck, enjoying the usual scent of lavender and lilac. "You smell so good…"

Kurt tightly shut his eyes, and tried to keep his body from trembling. "You are always so sweet, Finn. You have so many imperfect qualities that they make you endearing. You're very funny, and are always quick to make someone who feels bad feel good again. You were never like the others on the team. You _always_ tried to be nice to everyone."

"How did you see that back then?"

"I saw a lot of moments where you truly cared, Finn, and that was what made the difference. Rachel's reason for liking you in the beginning was for popularity, but she started liking you more and more until you became someone she could depend on."

Finn smiled against Kurt, and snuggled deeper into his neck.

Kurt bit down on his lip. "Finn?"

"Hm?"

"You're not my brother," Kurt whispered quietly. His heartbeat started back, and now it was kicking into full gear as he spoke.

"I know," Finn agreed.

"I can't call you my brother."

"We're not related."

"No, we're not."

"Kurt?"

"Finn?"

Nothing else was said, both boys were too terrified to move beyond what they'd already talked about. Instead, Kurt took a dare, and he shifted onto his opposite side, and faced Finn fully. He bowed his head and scooted closer, his right leg slipping between Finn's knee.

Finn said nothing as he held Kurt with his nose in the top of his soft brown hair.

In the darkness of the still bedroom, Kurt and Finn fell into a deep dream filled sleep of more questions and a lot more confusion.


	6. Chapter 6

_**6 -**_

_**"Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as a sheep." - Madonna**_

_**oOo  
**_

"You're late!" Rachel hissed when Finn slid into the vacant seat beside her. It was the middle of Spanish, and Mr. Schuester had nodded when Finn handed him a late slip.

"I know," Finn said distractedly as he pulled out his homework.

"Why?" she demanded.

"I took Kurt back to Dalton this morning."

She wrinkled her nose. "He should have gone back last night. That was really inconsiderate of him," she tittered.

Finn shot her a dark look. His defensive hackles rising instantly. "_I_ asked him to stay, Rachel," he pointed out sharply.

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but then she closed it. Finn turned away from her as Mr. Schuester gave them directions on what to do.

"We have to practice tonight, Sectionals is coming up, and you better not have told Kurt what our set list was."

Finn's hands balled into fists, but he didn't say anything at all. It would do no good to get into it with Rachel because he knew it was a lost battle, and he might say something he would regret later.

When Finn got to the choir room that afternoon, Tina and Mercedes were the first one to ask him how Kurt was.

"He's good. He misses you guys a lot," Finn assured with a smile.

Tina smiled sadly. "We miss him so much. I wish we had done something more so that he could stay." She sniffed, and Mike frowned as he dropped an arm around her shoulder.

"I'd have protected him, Tina," Mike assured.

Tina smiled endearingly. "I know. You really tried. I think we caught it too late. It's just he's been my best friend since the sixth grade, and it's so weird not seeing him every day."

Mercedes sighed heavily. "It's not fair. Kurt's the sweetest Diva I know. He's given up so much for everyone, and he always gets the bad end of everything."

Sam overhearing the conversation stepped up to Finn's right. "Perhaps we can go see him after this? All of us."

Finn's eyes lit up. "He would love that. The Warblers made him stay Friday night for a practice on Saturday morning, and he was so sad so I went up there, and brought him back. That's why I was late today. I offered to take him to Dalton. Mom was actually thrilled about it."

"That's so sweet," Tina cooed.

They all sat together, Mr. Schuester was arguing with Rachel who seemed put out about not being able to sing a solo at Sectionals.

Instead it was given to Quinn and Sam, and then Santana with high vocals from Mercedes. Finn thought it was the perfect setup even though Rachel was throwing a huge fit because she hadn't been included.

When everyone was occupied with the impending Sectionals, Finn turned to Tina. "It was out of our hands a long time ago," he told her quietly.

Tina looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

Mike, Sam, and Mercedes leaned around to hear what Finn had to say.

A look of pain, and a flash of anger flashed across Finn's face. "Karofsky did more than pick on, Kurt."

"What did he do?" Mercedes asked wide-eyed.

Finn bowed his head. "I can't tell you. I promised Kurt I wouldn't." He would not betray Kurt like that. No way, he wouldn't betray Kurt's trust that way.

"We have to go see him today," she insisted.

"I'm with you. Finn can I get a ride?" Sam asked.

"Fine with me. He would really love to see you all."

"What are you guys doing? We should be focusing on Sectionals!" Rachel interjected.

"None of your business," Mercedes snapped.

"It is my business because my boyfriend is involved, Finn?" she glared at him, and waited for backup.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you, Rachel. We're all going to see Kurt."

"You can't! He's part of the other team!" she practically screeched.

"No, he isn't. He's our friend," Tina struck up the courage to say. "He'll always be our friend."

Rachel bristled. "Well, I should come with you."

"Oh no," Mercedes shook her head. "You are not going to come with us simply to piss Kurt off by calling him the enemy. What the hell is wrong with you girl? You huff a little too much paint or something?"

The short little Diva looked affronted, and for once she was speechless. She scowled once more before turning on her heel, and striding over to Mr. Schuester to kiss some more ass.

Finn shook his head. "If we leave right after glee is over we should get there about six."

"I need to check it with my parents, but I'm in," Mike said as everyone pulled out their cell phones.

Finn was excited. He would get to see Kurt again.

"We should do something special for Kurt," Mercedes suggested. "Let everyone at Dalton know that Kurt is our baby."

Finn grinned so widely he thought his face was going to crack.

"That's such a good idea!" Tina squealed.

Sam nodded. "Should I bring my guitar?"

Finn copied Sam. "Yes, I think I have the perfect song."

"Well then white boy, let's hear it!" Mercedes exclaimed with a smirk.

oOo

Even though Kurt was back at Dalton, his heart and mind was back in Lima. Not only was he confused, but he was feeling unusually giddy. He smiled at the weirdest times, and if Blaine noticed an extra skip in his step, the short lead singer didn't comment.

Nick and Jeff sat with them at lunch, and the day progressed ever slower until it was over, and the Warblers started going over preparations for Sectionals.

They weren't practicing today, instead they were going over last minute details on how they were getting to Sectionals.

Kurt was sitting by the window, and he was half-listening to the chatter around them.

Jeff who had gone outside to get something came back in with a half-smile. "Kurt!"

"What is it Jeff?" Kurt asked placing his History assignment aside.

"There's a group outside looking for you."

"Who?" Kurt asked confused.

"Don't know. They insist on seeing you though. The black girl was rather _– forceful_," Jeff said with a wince.

Kurt's eyes lit up, and his heart filled with love. "Mercedes!" He ran from the room, and not far behind was the Warblers who were infinitely curious.

He ran out into the courtyard, and his eyes widened when he saw Sam, Mercedes, Tina, and Mike sitting choreographically on the picnic tables. Sam and Mike were sitting on top a few feet apart, and Mercedes and Tina were sitting at their feet.

They were dressed in matching blue jeans, and dark blue long sleeved casual shirts.

"What are you guys doing here?" Kurt asked as they all smiled.

They all grinned, and Sam didn't speak, instead he started playing the chords of a familiar song from a few years back, and he began to sing.

"_I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold. I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul…" _

After a couple more chords played, Kurt gasped when another smooth and familiar voice out of nowhere picked up, and Finn casually walked out from behind one of the oak trees in the courtyard. His charm had was turned on to maximum, and everyone could feel it.

"_I know that you are something special, to you I'd be always faithful, I want to be what you always needed, then I hope you'll see the heart in me." _

Finn grinned boyishly as he walked over to Kurt, and continued to sing all the while staring right at him. The rest of them followed suit, and they all sang the chorus in perfect harmony, changing the words ever so slightly to fit their needs.

_"We don't want another pretty face, We don't want just anyone to hold. We don't want our love to go to waste, We want you and your beautiful soul! You're the one we wanna chase, you're the one we wanna hold. We won't let another minute go to waste, we want you and your beautiful soul!" _

Kurt was rooted to the ground as his friends sang and moved around him, Mike and Tina providing a few good moves, and Mercedes belting out the strongest notes with Sam and Finn moving in between.

Finn stepped up the lyrics with Sam beside Kurt plucking at his guitar.

"_You might need time to think it over, but I'm just fine moving forward. I'll ease your mind, if you give me the chance I will never make you cry, c'mon let's try." _Kurt nearly fainted when Finn reached out and wiped the tears from Kurt's eyes away.

It was such a classic, and sweet move.

He chuckled weakly when they all sang one final strand of chorus with Sam ending with a vibrating hum of strings.

"Oh Gaga!" Kurt trembled as Mercedes and Tina clobbered him with hugs. "I've missed you guys," he sniffled.

"We've missed you, Kurt. So much!" Tina squealed pulling back as Sam and Mike both hugged him.

"New Directions isn't the same without you," Sam insisted kissing him on the forehead.

Kurt's cheeks flushed when Mike winked and brushed a hand across his jaw. "Definitely not. We wish you were back."

Finn nodded, and shakily he tugged Kurt close into a very warm bear hug. "They're right. We miss you so much."

"This is not nice! You're making me cry!" Kurt whined with a little giggle. He buried his face into Finn's shirt as he was held tightly.

Finally when he got a hold of his emotions, he pulled back, and smiled brightly. "Thank you."

He realized then that the Warblers were gathered behind him, and he snickered as he turned. "Hey guys, this is some of the New Directions," he introduced. "Mike Chang is the dancer, Tina and Mercedes are the awesome Diva's, and Sam and Finn are the boy next doors."

"Oi!" Sam and Finn protested simultaneously.

"Guys, this is New Directions. Blaine you've already met Mercedes."

"Nice to meet you all," Blaine said nodding with a smile. There was something in his eyes that Kurt couldn't quite make out. It looked like envy, but Kurt was sure that wasn't the case.

The other Warblers looked a little worried. If this was only part of New Directions then they were going to have some serious competition.

As everyone introduced themselves, Finn gazed down at Kurt. "I hope you didn't mind us crashing your school."

"Never! It was amazing."

"Good."

Kurt's friends remained for dinner in the cafeteria. Some of the Warblers joined them in hopes of learning more about Kurt's former glee club, and were shocked to find out that everyone in the school despised them.

"The Warblers are like rock stars," Blaine told them. "Whenever there's a performance, everyone including teachers stop what they're doing to listen or dance."

"Not at McKinley. We're a joke," Tina said sadly.

"I've never been to a public school," Wes admitted. "So I don't really know how they work."

Kurt's friends and the Warblers seemed to get on well. David kept charming Mercedes, and Nick and Jeff were in a heated conversation with Sam over Avatar, which they both apparently loved.

"Man this school is so beautiful," Tina commented looking around. "It doesn't even look like a cafeteria."

Mike agreed. "I had to beg my parents not to send me to private school. My mom understood, but my father had to be talked into it."

"There's a lot of advantages and disadvantages," One of the Warblers named Thad said with a smile. "The work is a lot harder, but on the other hand everyone in the school has respect for each other. There is no tolerance for bullying or fighting whatsoever."

"Wish that was how McKinley was," Tina said sullenly. "We all have to bring extra clothes to school because of the slushy facials."

Thad shudder. "Sounds horrible."

"Imagine being bitch slapped by an iceberg," Kurt chimed in.

"I don't want to."

"New Directions is our refuge."

Kurt sighed longingly at Tina and Thad's conversation. There was a gentle nudge from Finn, and he smiled at the tall teen. "What?"

"You look sad," he observed.

"I'm happy, thank you. I'm so glad you guys are here."

Finn grinned. "So am I. You mean a lot to us, Kurt, especially me."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I know that, Finn." At this rate, Kurt knew that his cheeks would forever be stained.

"Why don't you show me around?" he suggested to Kurt. "Everyone else looks pretty busy."

Kurt bit his lip, and nodded. "Alright. We can slip out. Don't think anyone will notice."

Well, anyone but Blaine who kept glancing over at them every few minutes, but Mike had drawn him into a conversation about dancing.

Finn was in awe of the place, Tina had been right, it was beautiful, and he told Kurt as much.

"Yes, I was astounded when I came here for the first time. It is beautiful, but it's like a gilded cage."

Finn shoved his hands into his pockets as he thought about Kurt's words.

"That shirt looks perfect on you," Kurt commented as he plucked the edges idly.

Finn chuckled and looked down. "Yeah, well you do have good taste."

"I'm glad you finally take notice."

"I always noticed."

They walked in complete silence through the long winding corridors. Every now and then Kurt and Finn would look at each other as if trying to form words, but then they'd look away again. Sometimes it was hard to form words, and it was perhaps one of the very few times that Kurt couldn't use his tongue to his advantage.

"Ready for Sectionals?" Kurt finally asked dully.

"Yeah, I think so. You guys?"

Kurt shrugged. "Suppose so. I'm not really feeling it though. It's not like New Directions."

"I hear you. New Directions isn't the same without you. If Mr. Schuester and the others weren't counting on me, I'd quit."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Don't you love glee?"

"I do, but it's gotten so dull. I mean, all we ever do is what Rachel and Mr. Schuester want. You and Santana were the only ones to ever really speak out. They listen to you guys, not us."

"That's because we're bitches. We always get our way."

Finn shook his head. "How can you be – _that_ – when you're so sweet?"

Kurt's heart swelled. "You know me, Finn. I have to keep a defense up."

"I know, but you don't have to around me."

"I don't."

"I know that's why it's hard to hear you say that. I can't see it."

"That's because you are one of the lucky few who see the real me."

"I am lucky, aren't I?" Finn then stuck out his arm silently inviting Kurt who instantly took it up with the sweetest smile on his face.


End file.
